Sometimes helping isn’t so helpful.
I want to help. When someone is going through a rough time, I want to do/say something that will make a difference. But there are times when that’s not what the other person wants or needs. Sometimes hearing a different perspective – hearing my viewpoint on their issue isn’t what they are looking for and that kind of “help” just isn’t helpful (and is possibly just annoying).
Like the signs at the railroad tracks, sometimes I just need to Stop, Look, and Listen. STOP what I’m doing for a minute, LOOK at the person and LISTEN to what they are saying. Sometimes all a person needs is to be seen and heard. You can generally tell from the context of what they’re saying if they are looking for help or just need to vent. They might be like the train coming down the railroad tracks. All you need to do is wait it out as they thunder past and then when the coast is clear, continue on your way. You’ve done all you can for now.
That’s really hard for me because it can seem so…well, unhelpful. But then again, I know when I’m on the other end of it, sometimes that’s exactly what I need, too. I know people care and I know that if I asked for help, they’d be there for me but for that moment all I need is to be seen, heard, and “allowed” to be where I am. So I want to offer the same to others and not always jump in there with a solution or suggestion or a different perspective.
Stop, Look, and Listen and then keep driving. Sometimes it really is the most caring and helpful response.
Great reminder, and catchy too. I’m going to use this the next time I want to help 🙂
Thanks for the feedback, Julie!